Do not fall in love, love with your head not your heart: a lesson from the story of Samson

The  story  of  Samson  is  one of  the  most  interesting stories  in  the  Book. Samson  was  born  to  be  a  Nazarite  from  the  womb.  His purpose  was  to  deliver  the  Israelites  from  the  dominion of  the  Philistines  at  the  time.  As  a  Nazarite,  Samson  was  meant  to  be  holy  unto the  Most  High  which  entailed  that  he  was  not  allowed  to  engage  in  a number  of  activities  such  as  drinking  alcohol,  eating  unclean  foods or  shaving  his  hair.  From  the  Book  it  is  evident  that  Nazarites  were spirit  filled  individuals    and  the  observance  of  their  designated practices  helped  them  to  gain    some  kind    of  spiritual  prowess that  ordinary  Israelites  did  not  have. Due  to  his  consecration  as  a  Nazarite  Samson  was  able achieve  a  lot  of  great  feats.  We  are  told  of  the  story  of how  he  singlehandedly  defeated  thousands  of Philistines  (Judges  9:  9-20).

 Despite  this privilege Samson suffered  from  one  big  problem,  he  idolized  women. Samson  fell  in  love  with  Delilah  (  Judges  16:4)  and  the  Philistines  were  intent   on using  her  to  entice  him to surrender   his  strength  unto  her. Delilah  attempted  so  many  times  to  uncover  the  secret  to  Samson's  strength but  he  resisted  to the point where she  said  "how  canst  thou  say,  I  love  thee  when  thine heart  is  not  with  me?  Thou  mocked  me  these  three  times,  and  has  not  told  me wherein  thy  great  strength  lieth".  That  statement  triggered  something  in Samson  because  he  eventually  spilled  the  beans  and  told  Delilah  that  the  source of  his  strength  was in his  hair  and  that  if  it    was  to  be  shaved  off  he  would  become weak.  After  that  confession  everything  went  downhill,  Delilah and  her  compatriots  were  able  to  cut  his  hair  and  commit  the    atrocious murder  of  Samson.

So  what  can  we  learn from  this  story?

It  is  important  to  understand  that  this  post  is  not  about painting  women  in  a  bad  light  or  discouraging  people  from being  affectionate  towards  one  another.  The  purpose  of  this message  is  to  challenge  some  of  our  perceptions  on  the idea of love.

A lot  of  people in our society   believe  in this contoured and unrealistic  idea  of  "falling  in  love"  that has been popularized by the Media and movie industry.  But when  you  ask  them  what  it  is  they  rarely  explain  the  idea  in concrete  terms.  Samson  fell  in  love with  Delilah  because he decided  to  love  her  with  his  heart  and  not  his head. The inclusion of the word "fall" projects negative connotations, this is why falling  in  love  is  like being struck by Cupid's arrow or   having  a  drug because when  when  you  take  a  drug,  you  are  not  satisfied  with  one dose,  you  want  to  come  back  for  more.

It  is  very  important  to  differentiate  between  loving  someone while  using  your head  and  loving  someone  using  your  heart. 

We  live  in  a  culture  that  is saturated  with  romcoms  and  holidays  such  valentine's  day  and therefore it is increasingly becoming  very    easy  to  misunderstand  what  love  is.  Love,  in  the context  of  an  intimate relationship,  essentially  consist  of  respect  and  loyalty  and  through  a reading  of  the  book  one  is  able  to  come  to  this  understanding.  Love is  not  the  butterflies  you feel  in  your  stomach or aimlessly breaking  the  bank  to  impress  your  lover.

The  reason  why it is  important  for  most  people  to  grasp this is  because  it them  helps to  put  things  into  perspective when in relationships. If  one  calibrates  their  thinking and start to  looking  at  relationships  in this  way,    they  will  be  able  to    know  what  to  expect  from  their  partner and  what  is  required  from  them  in  a  relationship. 

The  most  important  reason as  to  why  most  people,  especially    men,  in  this  society  need  to  start  understanding  love  in  this way  is  because  it  will  help  them  avoid  getting  into   unhealthy relationships.    Men  are  programmed  to  worship  their  woman  and  treat  her  like  a queen  and  acquiesce  to  her  every  whim  and  qualm  when  in  actuality  all  they have  to  do  is  be  respectful  and  loyal  to  their  partner. Women on the other hand are programmed to find a prince charming who sweeps them of their feet (what I call Princess Cinderella programming).  When  one  worships someone bestow a  God  like  status upon them,  that  relationship  is  not based  on  love  but  a  form  of  infatuation  amounting to borderline  idol  worship. No  human being  is  meant  to  be worshiped.

Most  men  in  today's  society are  mad  at  the  world  because  they  thought  if they  "fall  in  love"  and  "give  everything"  to  a  woman then  everything  would  sail  smoothly.  The  contrary  is actually  the  answer,  if  parties  are mutually   respectful  and   loyal  to one another, their  a  relationship  will  most likely stand the test of time.